You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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