hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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