Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize