What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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