NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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