ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
