so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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