I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
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That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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