the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I supernannyed him into submission
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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