pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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