I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
