You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize