her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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