whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
