There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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