I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
