In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
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