What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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