Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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