We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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