I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
is it fun? or sober?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
