yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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