There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
