I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize