ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
