I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
