My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
so much tequila, so little girl.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
