Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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