Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
