Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
