No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
