If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
