Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
