Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
