Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?