I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*