We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.