never play flip cup with pint glasses
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
