Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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