it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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