I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
