I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
