Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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