I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
