Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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