So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
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I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
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I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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