Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
