he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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