Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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