There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
that is very illegal...i love you.
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