no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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