Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
