Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
