covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
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