I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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