i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He did a backflip because drugs
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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