last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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