He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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