I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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